I don't know how to handle this anymore.. everything is turning backwards!!

living like this is so  bad !!

even my only friend that was there for me all the time until I come here is not there anymore :''(

I miss everything!! even every little shit I hated when I was back there, even that..

I don't know what to do!! I want to stay here in pt but living like this...

what should I do..?!?!?!